Emotionally Unstable

Every Wednesday in the summer, the church (http://www.stalbertunited.ca/) I belong to hosts Sundaes on Wednesdays (get it?) where we have a bit of a spiritual gathering and then enjoy ice cream sundaes afterwords. It changes every week. Usually we learn something new about another faith expression. (I skip the ice cream as I'm going vegan now.) This evening, an Anglican minister who is Cree came to do an Aboriginal smudge and prayer circle. At one point he sent a bowl of water around to say a prayer into. First of all, it started with the lady beside me so I was next, which I wasn't prepared for! Then, I said two names of family members who are sick in the hospital, one being my grandfather who was recently diagnosed with lung cancer, dying, and not taking any treatment.

I immediately burst into tears and cried for the rest of the night. At one point, the minister doing the ceremony came over to me and did a special blessing and hugged me because I kept crying. Then afterwards, when it was all over, I tried to escape to the bathroom, but people kept coming up to me and asking me what was wrong - which enhanced the crying.

I bet part of the reason is this going vegan thing is taking a toll on my system. My body is going through detox right now of built up sugars and "nasty foods" in my body. I am feeling hungrier today than I have been in the last few days, but not giving in to temptation. (Although the soy peanut butter chocolate non- dairy ice cream I bought the other day and tried last night was DISGUSTING. I'm basically going to have to throw out $8 worth of fake ice cream)I might have a bit of something tonight that will help my sweet tooth. I haven't made it out again to a grocery store to buy some vegan friendly chocolate.

Comforting myself with food? Shocking.